A Long Journey

I am so blessed to be a Mommy to my sweet daughter. Mother's Day is very special to me, but I can't help to think of my good friends who long to be a Mommy also. Chris and I did not have an easy time reaching the road to being parents. There were so many times during that 3 year process that I thought it would never happen for us. I remember too clearly all of the testing, medicines, doctor visits, blood draws, charts, ultrasounds, side effects and heartache that came along with trying. We became pregnant a few months after starting clomid, only to quickly find out that we lost that baby. Oh the heartache; I can't express it. It took a really long time to realize that for whatever reason, God did not allow us to have that baby in our arms, but kept that one for Himself. I struggled with some pregnancies of friends along the way. I was so happy for them, but so sad for Chris and I. I just didn't understand.

But now I can see that God knew all along what was best for our family. Ava was definately worth the wait! She is just the most loving, funny, sweetest kid! She is all I ever dreamed of, and she is all my hopes and dreams for the future. I can't wait to see everyday what she is going to do next; what new things she is going to teach us. I always longed for a big family, but maybe that is not in the cards for us. Lately we have thought about having another baby; not ALOT of thought, but some. I guess a little of me is reluctant to dive back into that process because of what we went through before, but the outcome is worth it. I have accepted that God may intend for us to just have Ava, and I am content with that fact. Another baby would be a blessing, but it is a gift that may not come.

For all of my friends who are wanting children of their own, hold fast to God. He knows the plans for you and He is working for your good. The road is hard, but He is both on that road with you, AND waiting at the end, no matter the outcome. I am praying for you to have peace with what God desires for you.

Jennifer